Guilt: A Christian Perspective (Personal Growth Challenge)

As humans, we often find ourselves struggling to do the right thing. We want to do it, but time and time again, we find ourselves doing the exact opposite. Feeling guilty, we’re tempted to think about our mistakes over and over again, wishing we could just go back in time and undo them. The reality is, we can’t.

Now here’s a twist. The same guilt that constantly reminds us of our errors can be the very reason we keep on repeating them. As a result, we keep on reliving the same shame and regret, never truly finding peace. These feelings can take us to a place of hopelessness, where we feel as if we can never be able to recover.

But regardless of how we feel about ourselves or what we have done, we know that God is ready and willing to forgive, but we must first be willing to make ourselves vulnerable before Him and ask with a sincere heart.

I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake, and remembers your sin no more.

– Isaiah 43:25


Now, let’s get one thing straight. This message isn’t only for “people like me.” These words are intended for anyone who is willing to take that leap of faith; to explore and challenge the inner self and embrace its vulnerability.

Whoever you may be, whatever you’re dealing with, today I challenge you to pour your heart out to God. Tell Him everything. Do not let guilt win, but embrace the future that awaits you.

 

The Problem With Men – A Short Story

Seventeen was an awkward time for Kelly, her physical maturity exceeding her mind’s. The first time she’d been catcalled, she’d been too young to know what it meant. Now that she had, walking on the streets felt more like a walking on a runway, only without the glamour.

Every man was a judge, and her body was on display for the world to see. Her attractiveness served as a sort of criterion to see if she was worth being treated to a leud remark or a stare that seemed to say it all. On better days she could find herself being treated like a decent human being, but only if she’d been considered attractive enough to deserve it.

After making her way home, she settled down to have a chat with her mother.

“Men are dogs,” she complained. “I can’t stand a single one.”

“I suppose you can’t stand your father then.”

“Ma, you know what I mean.”

“Not all men are the same Kelly.”

Majority rules,” she mumbled.

Ena sighed, pausing her duties. “I’ll agree that something has changed. But there is something you can do about it.”

Fight fire with fire.” That was the slogan of an activist group she and her friends hoped to form someday.

She shook her head. “Child. that’s not how I raised you child. Do better.”

Kelly sighed. “You don’t know what it’s like, ma. Sometimes you have to fight to get what you want.”

“And I agree. But there are other ways,” she continued, “and quite frankly, I dont think what we’re doin’ now is working. Fightin’ and insultin’ each other all the time.”

“I think it’s working fine.”

“Is it? ‘Cause I thought what we wanted was peace. These days, all I see is hate.”

Kelly paused in a moment of reflection. “Well then what do you suggest?”

“I say we fix the problem where it starts. Teach ’em early.” She explained, “Believe it or not, those men weren’t born that way.”

Kelly sighed. “So what you’re saying is, I’m powerless.”

“Who has more power than you? Speak up! Speak to the source of the problem. Make your plea.”

“But what about right now, ma? What about all those men on the street looking at me like a slab of meat?” Emotions were running high. Ena could tell.

Placing a hand on her shoulder, she comforted her. “Respect them.” She continued, “but more importantly, respect yourself. Don’t let anyone – man or woman- tell you what you’re worth.”

“You just don’t get it, ma.”

“What’s not to get? You want peace, but it’s going to take time to get it. Start with yourself.”

Kelly hated the old-fashioned. But in some ways, she could understand it. Her mother, however old-fashioned she was, only wanted to show her that equality, at its core, was about love.

Confronting the Past – Reality & Escapism

No one likes to be reminded of their past. In fact, many of us simply put it in the back of our minds and carry on as if nothing ever happened. But what happens when the past comes back to haunt you?

For the past few months, this is exactly what has been happening to me. I too wish I could lock these memories and carry on with my life, but my mind refuses to let me do so. It wants resolution, and perhaps, it’s for the best.

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Relationships – What I’ve Learnt

The younger version of me often liked to fool herself into thinking she was in love. When reality finally hit, some hard lessons were learnt, and probably for the best.

Here are five things I’ve learnt about love:

1. Don’t trust your gut.

Ever heard of butterflies? Yeah. I don’t trust them. For me, they can make a bad idea look golden. It took a long time for me to realize it, but butterflies isn’t always a sign that you’re in love.

2. Love is hard work.

A healthy relationship requires commitment. What that means is sticking together through thick and thin.

While arguments are pretty normal for the most part, both parties should work towards resolving issues effectively. Pretending as if nothing happened probably won’t help much.

3. Choose wisely.

The world paints this sort of picture where any person you’re attracted to, you’re going to be compatible with. Beyond this, there is also another conflict: great compatibility, but little attraction. Both scenarios are complex and can be quite frustrating.

Attraction and compatibility go hand in hand for me, and I see now that it does not make me shallow. Personality, however, should always comes first. The key is to choose a partner who builds you up, and to play your part as well, returning the favour.

4. I don’t need a hero.

There. I said it.

You’ll not believe how awful I feel when I pour my heart out to a friend, only to hear that what I need is a boyfriend. Perhaps that is my punishment for only ever having mostly guy friends in my lifetime. But that’s besides the point.

Let’s get this straight. I have no problem with being involved with someone romantically, but I doubt the solution to all my problems would be getting a boyfriend. Why? Because a partner, most of the time, is only there to listen, not to solve.

It can be great having such a strong support, but at the end of the day, what’s left? Are we truly interested in each other, or what we can do for each other?

5. A lover is not a guarantee.

Some people just weren’t meant to get married, and I’ve long accepted this. I’ll admit that I’ve hardly put much effort in finding a lifelong partner. I’m only 18 after all. But whether or not I do, I will find a way to make myself content. There is no guarantee that I will find a romantic partner in this life, and that’s okay.

6. Be patient.

Being the age that I am, it seems as if I’m the only one who isn’t with someone. This has never particularly bothered me, but when everyone seems too busy for you, the pressure is on.

But is it really?

Personally, I take relationships seriously. I’d hate to think that I for the sake of not being alone, I’d settle for anything.

7. Be honest.

To those who’ve known me, I can seem a little aromantic. In reality, I feel everything intensely. How do I deal with it? By pretending I don’t.

Unfortunately, when you’re drawn to a person, you’re going to want to act on those feelings. Suppressing these feelings only leads to agony, and in the end, all you have is a missed opportunity.

On the other hand, some feelings are best left as what they are – feelings.

7. If you love him, show him.

I want to know he cares for me. I want to know that I am loved, and I’d assume my partner would too. Sometimes, love takes a little more than simply being aware of each other’s feelings. As many often say, actions speak louder than words, and that goes for both of us.

8. It doesn’t have to be so scary.

This has been the toughest lesson for me. The mere thought of falling in love with someone overwhelms me to a point where I just want to get away as soon as possible. I’d assume I come off a little callous to others, though the reality is that I feel everything intensely. Love is no different, and I wouldn’t want it to get the best of me.

Still, there is beauty in it all – opening your heart up to a special someone. As hard as it may be, the result just might make it all worthwhile. If I let it all happen naturally, then it doesn’t have to be so scary.


Love at the end of the day, of course, is different for everyone, defined by their own walks in life. While I myself have never been in love, I’m learned all I need to know from the world around me. More importantly, I’ve learned that love is a beautiful thing, regardless of what form it takes.


Follow for poems, stories & peculiar thoughts.

@dainellewrites

Dear Someone

You may not know I am

But I know you well

For though I hardly speak

My eyes have borne witness

To all your laughter 

& all your tears

 

For so long

I’ve hidden myself

Quietly watching

From the distance

Too afraid to approach you

Too afraid to laugh along

 

I have loved you

& I have hated you

But have always

wanted to know you

To show you how

beautiful you are

 

For by your hands

I have fallen

My heart broken

Yet without regret

Knowing, hoping

Someday, you’ll see

 

The beauty of living

Of loving without cause

Showing kindness to all

Turning the fiery wrath

Of your enemies

Into smoke

 

Writing this letter

I only wish my words

Could adequately express 

All the things I wish you knew

All that I’ve failed to tell

All the things I wish to say to you


Follow for more poems, stories & peculiar thoughts.

IG: @dainellewrites

 

Life Is A Journey – Therapeutic Travel

Lately, I’ve been on the road a lot, and I’ve come to the conclusion that travelling can be quite therapeutic.

For a while, I’ve been allowing myself to get wrapped up in my own little world. Going on these trips have helped me to feel a little more human again, and even a little victorious.
Not too long ago, I hated the thought of having to go to school. It was the only place I had to go by myself, to  face my anxiety on my own. With God’s guidance, I was soon able to tackle my fears head on and overcome my agoraphobia. Each time I find myself feeling completely comfortable in my own skin, even with a whole crowd watching, my heart rejoices.

My greatest battle for the last few months of my life has been trying to regain my sense of individuality. After overcoming agoraphobia, I thought I’d already won that battle. Much to my surprise, it didn’t take long for another storm to hit. These days, I’m hardly alone, and I was beginning to forget who I am.

The complexity of my illness often makes the reality of it much too difficult to be explained to strangers, but the questions never stop. The only problem I have with this is the question of whether or not I should lie. So many genuinely want to help. Some only want to know. Some would rather not. Whatever the intention, it always ends the same. I become my illness, not the person behind it.

The more I travel, the more I am reminded that there is a big world out there waiting for me. For this very reason, I have overcome my bullies & forgiven their transgressions. Nothing will stop me from doing what I came here for, and while I’m not sure where this journey will take me, I’m going to make the best of it.

 

On Modern Art

By now, it should be quite obvious that I am absolutely in love with art. These days, I’ve been exploring my artistic side, journaling & dabbling a bit in photography.

I am a believer in meaningful art – art with a purpose – even if that purpose is as simple as taking a moment to appreciate the beauty of nature. Art is meant to make us feel something; to challenge our minds.

Today, things are a little different. Art has become so controversial that it seems we’ve seen in all. Nothing shocks us anymore. Nothing is left up to the imagination, & the effect it has had on us is enormous, yet many of us don’t realize it.

Some believe that art has to be dark to be meaningful, but I’m going to be honest. This kind of art takes me to a very bad place. For this reason, I try to be careful when choosing which things to indulge in, but that’s just me.

What are your thoughts on art? Let me know by answering these questions.

1. What is the purpose of art?

2. How has art impacted our society?

3. How has art changed over the years?

4. Does art have to be shocking to be meaningful?

5. Should artists reveal everything in their art, or maintain an air of mystery?

That’s it! Feel free to share your answers in a blog post or in the comment section below. Enjoy!


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My Writing Life – Books, Edits, Updates

It has just dawned upon me that I have been blogging for over a year now. Originally, I had come here as a naive 17 year old who’d just self-published a poetry book and felt completely lost. Suddenly the excitement I’d originally felt publishing my first book had diminished to the mere thought, “Maybe I didn’t think this through.”

As I continued blogging, I find myself able to be as honest and open as I please, whilst sharing my work with the world. As of lately, I find myself conflicted – in love with both blogging & novel writing. I must confess that I’ve spent much of my time blogging and neglecting the very reason I started this blog – that is, sharing stories.

That said, I’ve been doing quite a lot of work behind the scenes. Just recently, I have made some edits to the book that started this all – Human – and have shaped it to match my current style, including a few photographs as well.

 

Currently, I am editing my novel, Daydreams & Disguises. I am also working on offering Human along with a short story ebook both permanently for free reading. Getting back to the basics, I will also be spending some time on Goodreads to be able to connect with other readers & writers.

Now the question is, why all the changes? Well, the answer is simple. I desire a sense of independence, and long for the days I could simply share stories & connect with readers. Through this blog, I feel I have already done this, but would like share some more lengthy & meaningful stories with you all, as I feel these stories are reveal much more about me as an author.

All that aside, at the end of the day, I write because I love it. My poems, stories & ramblings will always be here for your pleasure. Feel free to drop a comment or send an email my way!

❤ DainelleWrites