Lately, I’ve come to realize that I tend to turn every given task into some sort of contract. Either I get it all right, or all wrong. Often times, I find myself scrutinizing every single action I take to see whether what I’m doing is right or wrong, things that some people wouldn’t even think twice about. I then catch myself in the act and feel disappointed, as if I’m falling back to my old ways. It seems as if, no matter what angle I look at it from, I am always my biggest critic (especially so when I’m low on sleep).
Constantly, I have to make a conscious effort to not be so hard on myself. It’s tiring, to say the least, trying to nurture a mind that insists on attacking itself. After all, in a strange twist, I suppose that’s how I started this blog; by reminding myself, eventually connecting with those who understand and encouraging those who struggle as well.
I suppose, in some selfish way, this blog has served mainly as an outlet. I guess there’s no real point to today’s post; just an honest expression of how I feel. Still, I’m sure that, despite what I or you may be going through, life will work itself out somehow, just as it always does.