I was born into a world of darkness, full of ills that I’d yet to know of. As a child, I spent most of my time in school, learning about the world around me. I met all sorts of people; some more intimidating than others. I was a sensitive child, and it wasn’t long before I realized just how cruel the world could be.
Many times, people have let me down. I was always searching for love in other people, but not just any kind. What I wanted most was a perfect kind of love. Instead, what I received was hatred; hatred so strong and loud that it drowned out any glimpses of love. I was called fat, ugly and stupid. When I expressed myself, I was called an attention seeker. I was even told to kill myself. Simply put, it hurts, but what pains me the most is that many have heard similar things.
When I sought help, I felt even more discouraged. I was told to stop feeling sorry for myself, and that others had it worse. Even upon hearing this, I couldn’t get myself to stop feeling unhappy. When it seemed all the world had abandoned me, all I could do was cry out to God.
In just a moment, I experienced the love that the Bible had talked about. By then, my mind had been plagued with darkness, but in that very moment, it was silenced. Some would call it chemicals. Some would call it survival instinct. The only thing I could call it is impossible.
Why, you may ask? Because an anxious, depressed mind such as mine was could never conceive such an intense feeling of love and peace on its own. Instantaneously I felt it was God speaking to me. Rather than this being a mere assumption, it was a natural, immediate response. If someone had asked me to explain it, I couldn’t.
This was the very moment that inspired me to explore my faith a little more in depth. Reading the Bible, I learned about the imperfection of humankind, and our common enemy. I’ve learned not to take things too personally, but rather to only concern myself with God’s will.
Now hearing news of how Christians are being persecuted in Egypt, I have to stop and think to myself. In this world, death is such a scary concept for many. Willingly giving up one’s life for anything seems almost absurd. Christians have the confidence, however, that in the end, it is good that wins. For all, in as much as death is the end of this life, it is the end of agony.
While Christians are currently said to be among the most persecuted religious groups in the world, we are surely not the only target. Sadly, senseless killing happens all around the globe. As crime persists, we all become more and more eager to reach a resolution.
For now, I consider myself a sojourner. I am grateful for God’s grace, but also His justice. I pray to grow exceedingly in faith, even to the point that I may die in His name’s sake. I hope that someday, my words will touch someone else’s heart, so that they may also experience the love that I have.